Sleep Talking

"It's okay, it's okay," I soothe, awkwardly wrapping my arms around his head. His eyes don't open but I know he senses me there. There is a cold sweat adding a sheen to his forehead and his breathing is irregular. I don't know what to do, so I just sit there, with his head tucked under my arm until I feel his laboured breaths slow. I make the odd shushing sound but mainly sit in silence. He softens beneath me and I know he is asleep again. I feel strange sitting by his pillow whilst he sleeps, but for some reason I am reluctant to leave. His terrified screams made me nervous. I didn't want him to dream like that again. So I stay and lean my back against the headboard, counting the cracks in the ceiling. I can't stop my eyes from flickering down to his face every now and then, making sure he's okay and making sure he's still there. He huffs as he rolls onto his side and faces me, a small, sleepy frown creasing the part between his eyebrows. He's still asleep, but he's mumbling incoherently and it almost makes me smile. He breathes my name, but it's soft as a whisper and I think I imagine it. I hear it again and start - he must know I am there. I gently swing my legs off the edge of the bed, ready to leave, when I feel his fist lamely grab my knee. I stop and he relaxes, even in sleep. "I love you," he mutters. "I love you." I swallow the lump in my throat and kiss the top of his head gingerly. "I love you," he sighs again and I sigh too, but for a different reason.

Child's Nightmare

I am swinging on my swing set. It is sunny outside and I can see my house - my brother's window first, then the bathroom and then the kitchen downstairs. I love my swing set. It's red like apples and the seat is yellow like my hair. I love to kick my legs and push myself as high as possible. I'm quite scared of heights but I know my mummy is inside the house and she won't let me get hurt.

I am swinging so high and my hair is blowing around. I smile and listen to the thudding sounds my feet make when they hit the ground and kick off again.

I hear something above me. I slow the swing down and look up, squinting at the sky. There is a strange animal sat on top of my swing - it isn't a bird, because I've seen pictures of them in books at school. This animal doesn't have wings so I wonder how it got on top of my swing set. It turns its head and stares at me. It has light brown fur, big eyes and something that looks like a beak. It reminds me of a koala that I saw at the zoo, but that koala looked much more friendly than this animal.

I want to shout for my mum but I am too scared. It won't stop looking at me and I don't like it. I squeeze my eyes shut, imagining that it would disappear. My eyes pop open when I feel myself moving - my swing has wheels! The wheels are on the bottom of the poles and my swing set is suddenly moving really fast. I'm not in my back garden anymore; I'm racing down my street and houses and cars are whizzing past me. I'm not scared until I look behind me and see that the animal has wings now and it is chasing me. It looks really angry and it makes me nervous.

My swing drives itself super fast to try and get away from the animal. It is flying behind me and trying to catch me, making angry squawking sounds. I feel so scared that I almost cry, but I tell myself that I mustn't cry because the animal will know and it will get me if I cry.

It is very close behind me now and I am tired. My swing slows down and I feel so sad because it is going to get me. I wish I could tell my mummy but the animal is going to get me now and I might disappear.

I close my eyes tight again and hope it doesn't hurt me. When I open my eyes, I am safe in my bed and I am so happy that I was only dreaming. Silly dream.

Bad Dreams

The trees tower above me; a light summer breeze rustles the greenery and casts shadows on my face. I squint my eyes slightly, shifting my focus from cloud to cloud, making out shapes and patterns in the spotless, white candy floss. 

The warmth makes my skin prickle comfortably. I have an overwhelming feeling of complete contentment. Had I ever been so happy?

I turn my head to my right and he's lying beside me, watching my face, his blue eyes a mystery to me. He is in need of a hair cut but I never had the heart to tell him so. He reaches his hand out and traces his fingertips along my cheekbone and I smile in response. His answering grin dazzles me and I feel like a child.

He rolls over and props himself up on his elbows in front of me. I shift myself into a sitting position, leaning my back against the tree behind me. The wind blows our hair, tickling my face with a few wayward strands. I wriggle my nose and he smiles his full megawatt smile.

Suddenly, the sky turns dark, like someone has switched out the light. My eyes dart around in fear. I look at him.

"What's happening?" I try to call to him, but it's like someone has removed my voice. The silence is deafening. 

Out of nowhere, the sound of static fills my ears; a heavy white noise that pulsates my brain. I can't take my eyes off him, locked in fear as his body seems to be glowing impossibly. 

His eyes are wide and he's looking at me, but it's like he's looking through me. A light is emanating from every part of him, right to his fingertips.

I lean forward to grab him but he falls clean through my fingers. I stare up in fright and I notice how he's barely there anymore. A pale, translucent version of his form is standing before me, looking as melancholy as the saddest song.

I shut my eyes and squeeze them tight, thinking this must be some kind of bizarre hallucination. Perhaps I had sunstroke.

My eyes shoot open and I am in bed. I realise I have had that dream again. I wonder when my brain will accept that he died months ago. I wonder when my heart will accept it too.